420 ftw
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
