I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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