if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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