thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
