it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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