consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
