I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
