but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize