WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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