So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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