Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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