i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
