S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
