I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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