there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
