Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
