You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
