A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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