someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
