We're like a lot better than the average bears
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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