She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
