so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
