this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
