Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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