You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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