My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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