She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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