ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
