Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
