I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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