I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
