Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
