O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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