erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
