i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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