The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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