i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Ketchup is God's man juice
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
