I want to stick my p in your. b.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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