I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
