K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
