dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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