my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
