last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize