Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so explain again why im purple
no
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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