I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
