Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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