just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize