I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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