you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
