Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
