xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
