sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Of course I have a pirate flag
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
