I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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