I cannot find my penis.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
