I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
