No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I will die if light touches me.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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