I have demons in me.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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