Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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