after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
