Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
