He told me they were just razor bumps!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
