So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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