I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
